Well, it's me again.  So you all know what that means, dontcha?  Yep, more haterade!!  It's kinda like Gatorade, but it tastes like cock.  This week's article is about games from LJN.  First things first, I think LJN made some halfway good games.  Who Framed Roger Rabbit? and A Nightmare on Elm Street... wait, those games were made by RARE and not LJN?  Then I guess LJN can go to hell.

Our first game today is Back to the Future.  I can't be too hard on this game because it was one of the first games I bought when I got back into collecting.  Sure, it blows like a gay sailor, but I can't be too hard on it.  The graphics and sound are weak.  Really fucking weak, but that doesn't really bother me.  What bothers me is the fucking HORRIBLE goddamn controls.  The controls cause me to fucking rip out my hair then punch my dog in the face.  Fuck what I said about not being mean to this game, this piece of shit deserves no mercy.  I hope everyone who worked on it gets run over by a tank.

Our second game today is Back to the Future 2 & 3.  Yep, two games in one, but when LJN is involved it's like getting two kicks to the face.  Seriously, two kicks to the face are more fun then this game.  I didn't play it for a long time just to get lost, get pissed off, and then call everyone who likes this game a fucking shit-tard.  Anyone who likes this game is a god damned fucking shit-tard.  And of course, the people who made it need to be shot in the god damned face.

The third game is Beetlejuice.  Whilst the movie was ten thousand shades of awesome, the game is not.  This game has frustrating controls, bad graphics, horrible sound, and is all-around not fun.  Who knew playing as the "Ghost with the Most" would be like getting gang-raped in prison, man.  I cannot believe it took me three articles to make a joke about being gang-raped.  Either way, this game can go fuck itself and everyone who made it can go fuck themselves too.  I hope they die.  Painfully.

Marvel's Uncanny X-Men.  Oh sweet Jesus Christ.  The other games were fucking shitty, but THIS one takes the fucking cake.  The graphics are like puke mixed in with shit mixed in with some more puke and then someone pissed on them - so in other words, really really bad.  The sound is the worst thing I've ever heard.  I wanted to shove something into my ear when I heard it for the first time.  The control is pretty much nonexistent - hell, you wanna know how bad this game is?  When I bought my second NES back in like 1998 or so, this was one of the games I had.  I would enjoy any NES game back then, no matter how good or bad.  Thankfully, I got a clue and realized a good load of the games suck purple penises from the planet Pluto... poorly, so I took a hammer and broke the goddamn thing.  So, I think everyone who worked on this game needs to die.  In fact, their family members all need to die too.  And their friends.  And when you're done killing them all in a horrible fasion, you give all their bodies to a Necrophiliac's Club.  At least their bodies will be put to good use and they won't be able to make any more goddamn games that make me want to beat people to death.

Our last game is Friday the 13th.  This game has a really novel approach: you play as a camp person thing and try to fight off Jason and his mother.  The graphics are actually kinda decent, you know like LJN workers stopped sucking each other's cocks and actually worked on the game instead of being stupid fucking faggots.  The sound is pretty much shit.  The control is shit, and of course the game is too fucking god damn hard to be fun for anyone to play.  Ever.  However, the game is ALMOST playable so I don't hope the people who made it die.  I just hope the people who made it get a painful beating.

Well, I guess that's all for now.  So, you all must remember to enjoy the games I enjoy (because if you don't, you're a moron), hate the games I hate, and never ever play Dragon Warrior.  Because the game sucks.  And you'll be gay if you do.  That's all for this week dudes, so good luck, and keep on hatin'.